Death Of One Already Lost
by zekesbabe
Summary: COMPLETE! THEY HAVE BEEN NAMED! A weird suicide fic who i havent put a name to...please R&R! Please noteI EXPECT TO BE MURDERED!
1. Chapter 1

**Death Of One Already Lost**

**Just a little ficcie i did during a boring english lesson. got yelled at so every review i get will cheer me up R&R PEOPLE! and also see if you can guess who it is! yu may be surprised! if i get enough reviews i'll post another chapter! get yelled at during english AGAIN but its worth it **

**Disclaimer: i do not own anything except this story! this story has nothing to do with beyblades...at least not yet...and...is it obvious i dont know what to write in these things? Luv Ya'll!**

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I stand before your grave. I know you're not there. You never were. I know where you are. I wish you would go back. Back to the grave. I can see you…I close my eyes and you're there. I open my eyes. You're still there. Why can't you leave me in peace? You. You killed me. You killed me and you laughed. You bound me and you laughed. You dug deep into the flesh of the wounds you inflicted upon me. And yet you still laughed. I can still hear it. Day after day after day. It rings loud in my ears. In my head. I can hear it. It haunts my days and my nights. It keeps me awake for hours on end. Sleepless nights. Alas I cannot sleep.

Tell me. What was I? _Who_ was I? To you…who and what was I? Your blood. It still runs in my veins. It runs. It won't stop. It cannot. So I won't. I will keep going. Until it stops. The only way to make it stop. Is to stop it flowing. So I will make it pour. I will make it pour into the sea. Let it be taken to the four corners of the Earth. Let it be taken to the ends of the Earth. Along with my life and soul.

I clasp, to my chest. A crimson stained dagger. I finger the liquid upon it. The same liquid that pours through my breast and onto my clothes. I will join you soon. Though not in hell where you burn. I will join you. In death. I plunge forward. Nothing is holding me back. I am no longer afraid. I am going forward. Into a new life. I go. To be saved. To be freed. To be spared. I fall. I watch the swirling darkness come ever closer. I close my eyes and allow my mind to wander for the last time.

With each second I come closer. I will not be confined into a small space in the earth, like you. My life will end and my body and spirit will be forever sanctioned. My body will not be eaten by the filthiest of creatures. My body will not decay. My final resting place will be a watery grave. My body will be preserved. If my shell will be eaten. It will be used rightly. Not how you used me. I cannot wait. I fall ever closer. I can sense I am close. I open my eyes. I want to see my destiny. So I take a deep breath. The last breath I can ever take.

I hit the water. I lose some air as the impact takes its toll. It's nothing. Nothing compared to what you put me through. I sink deeper. I can feel the water pushing me on my body. Blood pours out. It will soon be over. No. I need to see what my grave is like. I fight to keep awake though my life is seeping away. I hit the bottom so I look around. I have no energy to fight. So I just lie there. I open my eyes though I do no remember closing them.

My vision is blurred. It does not matter. As long as I look around before I go. I see schools of fish above me. My body interrupted them. But they regroup, and carry on swimming. I wish I could recover that easily. I look down and see sharks. They do not see me. If they do they do not let me see. Letting out my last breath in a fit of bubbles I look above my head. Coral. Pretty pink coral. It always grows at the very bottom. It is sad that the only ones, who see it in its true glory, are those about to die in the sea. I lie still and feel the salt water fill me body.

It feels like bliss. I ignore the pain and accept the darkness. The sun shines high above me. The sea is so beautiful from the bottom. A pity I never had time to look. Look and see. I close my eyes. I accept the darkness. My last thought. Disappeared with my consciousness.


	2. Chapter 2

**Death Of One Already Lost **

Hi everybody thank you so much for your reviews! It made getting detention sooooo worth it! I know no one ever reads this but in the odd chance you are…if you're doing English literature and the whole point of the lesson is to write your own story…WHY DO YOU GET IN TROUBLE OVER WRITING STUFF LIKE THIS? - Note to self: don't scare the nice readers off!

Disclaimer: still don't own anything except this story! Still don't know what to write in these things and after this chapter have no idea where to take it! So if any of you lovely people want to review…please give me some story ideas please?

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They saw him go. Running to the edge they stared down at the sea. There was no trace of him behind. Only a faint ripple on the water's surface. It soon disappeared. Water. It minded its own business as it washed against the cliff. One solitary figure stood apart. They alone knew why he had jumped. They alone would remember his confession. Not of love. Of hate. What made him hate so much he couldn't bear it?

They turned and went back down into the village. The memory would die. His memories would live on. They would keep his secret. Until the time was right. Should that day ever come. No. They had to leave. They couldn't stay here. It would be a mockery.

Time passed. A lot of time. Every year they would go back. Those who saw him jump. The exact time. The exact place. The exact date of the exact month. Every year they were there. His memory had to go on. It was important. His memorial had been one of the saddest. There was nothing to go on. Except memories. He had been broken already. They could never have fixed him.

The youngest would no longer be the happiest and carefree. The oldest would withdraw themselves. There would be no happiness. Not until the truth of his death was discovered. He had no family aside his friends.

"And yet…even friends cannot fill the gap in the heart that aches for the love of family. I tell you my tale because I must. Because that is what he would have wanted. If you cannot stomach the tale. I suggest you leave now. It is not for the faint of heart. It is for those who understand severe pain. Pain that would cripple the mind of many."

I stand before you now. I too wear black. I too mourn the loss of a close friend. However I do not weep for his death. I weep for the loss of his soul. You too saw him fall. But his soul was gone before he left the safety of the hard ground. You do not understand do you? How could you? You think you have problems? You think you need to die? You are suicidal. But have you taken a moment to think why?

No. No one ever does. That's why you hear of so many deaths. But if you were like him. You would have no other option. To be tortured. Every day. Every night. Every second of every day. That's my part of this story. I am here to tell you why the only choice he had to was destroy his empty shell. Listen to my tale and listen well…

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**That's it for this chapter. It sucks doesn't it? Well that's what I get for writing depressing things in a good mood! It's impossible! T-T**

**To baby sweet: **

**Thanks for your review. Not a random idea at all! I see where you're coming from. Maybe it is and maybe it isn't. I'm not going to tell you yes or no at this stage. It's completely up to you to work it out evil chuckle**

**To fallen phoenix of darkness**

**Thanks for your review. You really think its good? Hate to say you may be disappointed in this chapter. Thanks for all your support!**

**See Ya Next Time! (Hopefully)**


	3. Chapter 3

**Death Of One Already Lost**

Hi again thanks for the lovely reviews! You lot really thought the last chapter was ok? You people are tooooooo much! Absolutely nothing to share with you this time (which you are probably thankful for!) except…SCHOOL HOLIDAYS STARTED TODAY!

IMPORTANT! WHEN READING THIS ITS RECOMMENDED YOU LISTEN TO

**EVANESCENCE "My Immortal"**

It's really good if you want a good cry! Well at least it's making me cry! I'm writing this while listening to it and it really makes me think. I'd better stop before I electrocute myself!

Disclaimer: not even sure this story belongs to me now! Hoping it does but not sure. Update…when I can be bothered!

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"…Who was he? You know. Deep within your heart you know. You will find the answer should you look to seek it. We will start at his beginning. Born. Nowhere special. Not a rich family. Not a poor family. A normal family with normal every day problems. He was unexpected. Not unloved. Just unexpected. His home was unusual. A simple cottage. What was so unusual about that? Nothing. Except it was the only one of its kind that hadn't been burnt down.

For five uneventful years he grew up. Happy. Loved. Unharmed by anything the world had to offer. Five years. He grew to be a respectful and friendly individual. He was extremely clever. Not only in his studies but also in simple things. Hide and seek was his speciality. Always able to find the others. Of course the others were his brother and sister. However they do not take up much of the tale. After all. He had no contact with them once his fifth birthday was drawn to a close.

It happened in the middle of the night. He finished his supper and was on the stairs up to bed. Upon reaching his room all that could be heard were screams from women and yells from men. He did not know who had attacked his home in the middle of the night. And he never did. He never knew the reason why he lost his parents that night. He never knew the reason why he was kept from his family. All he knew was that he had to obey or face tremendous trials.

Two more years passed and his seventh birthday rushed by. He stayed, tortured, beaten. Hardly a day went by without any relief. He was marched out of his small iron cage every day. To call it a cage is upgrading it. It was lower than a cage. More humiliating. Pigs, chickens, even the smallest creatures like rats had better homes! He was cramped into a small space every day. No wider than your arm. No longer than your leg. No higher than your knee. A cell is a luxury.

But I am not here to describe his accommodation. I am here to describe his life. Everyday he was taken out of this place. Forced to serve these people he had never met before. Beaten for the slightest mistake. This however, was only the start of his trials. They may have beaten his honour, pride and body. But his soul was still in one piece. He could still live with what little comfort he had left. His one dignity was to teach himself not to tremble. Not to give these people the satisfaction of knowing they had caused him agony.

The week after his seventh birthday. It seemed to be a haven. Alas, it was not to be for long. A rich man appeared to the house in which he served. This man continually watched him. For a reason he did not understand until much later. He was being helped. It was unusual. It brought him more fear than any beating. He was placed to serve the newcomer. If he spilt a drop of herbal tea on the silver platter on which he brought it, he was not beaten as which he expected. He was thanked for the drink and given a cloth to clean the platter before returning to the kitchens. This scared him. I ask you now. How can one who will help be feared? It saddens me to think this.

I will not continue with my tale yet. You now know of how his body was beaten. How he feared no pain. How he feared kindness. You know of his first seven years. You may think of him as a hardened obeying creature. Who would do anything asked of him without so much as a protest?

No! Do not! He was still a young boy. Seven years old. His mother. She was gone. No loving touch every night. No kind words. No song. No story. No hug. No kisses. Everything a child needs to keep them innocent that a mother could provide. He was alone. Every night he lay in his 'cell' and every night he cried once he knew they were asleep. Drunk. He cried for the mother he missed. He cried for the father who would teach him about life. The one he could understand. The one he could talk to about anything. The one who had many stories that were of wonder. The one who would wipe away his tears and tell him to be strong while crying at the same time.

His sister. His beloved sister. Who had taught him so much about the world. Given him a friendly word if he was sad. Would laugh at anything. Who had the sun in her eyes and the rainbow in her heart. Would always stop whatever she was doing, put it away and play with him. His brother. His dear brother, the one who always argued with him. Would teach him how to fight. Would help him through school. Would be his best friend through anything and everything.

He wished he knew why they were taken from him. Why his father and mother were taken in life. Why he was separated from his sister. Why his brother had been taken to another world. Why he was left on his own. There was nothing left for him to live for except to have the hope that he would one day be reunited with his siblings.

I pause in my tale so I can tell you. After he fell…his sister and brother were found dead. His mother and father. Alive. And searching for him. They knew their oldest son and their daughter were dead and had the slim hope that they could find him. I had the unfortunate business in which to tell them. It was one of the…worst…and saddest parts of my life. I had to tell them their last child had fallen from grace into the unforgiving oceans…I finish for today. Think about what I have told you. I have taken you roughly through the first seven years of his life. I will not take you in depth. Not yet. Think carefully. The rest will soon be revealed…"

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Ok be honest. That sucked! Tell me honest and truthful! I can accept flames. FLAME ME TO THE BITTER END!

I know exactly what you're thinking. KAI! Well maybe it isn't maybe it is. Oh what the heck. If I tell you there's still plenty of chances left! IT IS NOT KAI

N-O-T K-A-I!

To boothy 

**Thanks for the review. Yes I wrote it myself! Thanks for thinking its amazing!**

**To FoxWolfDemon**

**Thanks for your review. I think you're making too big a fuss though! It's not THAT good! And I guess I kinda know what you mean. Teachers should learn that because you write depressing stuff you aren't definitely a depressed or suicidal person! Thanks for supporting my view though **

**To x0xAngelx0x**

**Thanks for the review. I'm glad you like it. Thanks for not thinking it sucks. I'll let you be the judge of this chapter 0 remember. I can and will accept flames so don't spare my feelings!**

**To fallen phoenix of darkness**

**I can't believe you like it so much you reviewed a second time! I'm touched! You sure you're not disappointed? Thanks so much. I love it when people always review. Don't forget you can comment on any and everything. Also any story ideas would be fab! I have the basic stuff but not much.**

**To baby sweet**

**Thank you too! As I said above I love it when people can be bothered to review more than once! What sort of reasons anyway lol good or bad! I know exactly what you mean. I guess he is a sort of hippy. Especially with the Yin Yang bandanna!**

**Thanks Everyone! Will Update ASAP! (As long as I get reviews!) Remember to be honest! I can and probably will be flamed. Lets say I need a tan! Thanks again! Until next time! (Do I sound like the Jazz Man?)**


	4. Chapter 4

**Death Of One Already Lost**

Hi again thanks for the lovely reviews! Can't say much except...I have a serious writers block. Add to the fact I had to work over the holiday! T-T Thinking of writing another fan fiction so keep an eye out

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I glanced round. What was so different? Nothing. Everything! I smiled. For the first time in my life…I was free! Shrugging off the mask I had over me for so long I let a laugh escape my lips. Jumping onto the bed I lay there letting the bounce sink into my bones. After so much pain and trials, I could be the boy I was brought into the world to be!

I pulled myself off the bed and went to the window. What had been the darkest part of the day was now disappearing, the sun breaking through the thick layer of clouds. I could actually see the sun chasing the clouds away! I could never be happier. Can no one understand! The mask was off. My past destroyed. I was given new light.

I stood away from the window and listened. Boys arguing over food and video games. Female voices shrieking at the top of their lungs. Blades spinning. True enough I would never be able to play the sport that had hold over me for so many years but I could listen, enjoy. I would not have to fear anyone again.

Smiling I walked through the door and glided down the stairs. The first thing I noticed was the messy floor and walls. But, I reminded myself happily; it's none of my concern. Not anymore! I went through the front door without anyone noticing. If only my whole life could have been like this. Gliding through the streets in the town I understood for the first time how people describe this place as one of the most beautiful places on Earth! The sun was shining, the grass was green, the sky was blue. The water passed by gently and soothed my soul.

I eventually got to the park and sat on the swings. I closed my eyes and breathed out. The air was so much sweeter. The feel was lighter. It didn't make me tense every time it blew over me. Hearing children run behind me I got off the swings and watched as they took over the park. Innocent children, the best part of life!

I left to explore the neighbourhood in my new sight. Everything was so sharp, so detailed. If only I had seen, if only I had known. If only I hadn't been destroyed. But I can see it now. It's not too late. And I can now see it every day for the rest of my life. I know it will be boring after a while but isn't beauty always unrecognised?

What really made me happy? I had found myself. My peace. He couldn't get me here. He didn't exist. I would never have to plague my sight with him. I could close my eyes and nothing would be there except the reddish darkness. It was a haven! I let a single tear fall down my cheek. I put my finger up and wiped it off my face. Wet. The first time in a long time I had seen anything like this from my own fluid. I laughed louder than before.

I skipped, yes skipped, down the road and weaved my way in between the people. I just couldn't get enough of the lightness in my heart. If people could hear me I would scream with mirth! I accidentally stepped off the sidewalk onto the road just as a car went by. There was no screeching of brakes. No screams. No shouts. No one calling an ambulance. After all, why should they?

The car went right through me. Looking after it I sighed. That's probably the only bad thing about my new life. I'm incapable of physical touch. I looked at the tear to see it fading away just like my hope and happiness. My misery returning only this time I could do nothing.

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**To baby sweet:**

**hi again. you're like my loyal reviewer! anyone and everyone (minus your friend) knows he is a complete hippy. he prefers to sleep in a tree for petes sake! he is into healthy natural foods if you se what he cooks on the series. he is from the earth as he says when he talks of his village. AND HE LIVES IN THE MOUNTAINS AND TRAINS IN FREEZING WATER! what other proof could you possibly need! also, i like your ideas...however nope. i love doing this. its like everyone is trying to guess and cant get very far! i take it those two are your fave and you couldnt bear it if it was them ! thanks again for your review and vote of confidence!**

**To amy:**

**thanks for your review! thanks for your review and comments! its great when people review for me! you sure thats the one? i love it how people have always said its a male and not a female. its almost like everyon believes girls arent suicidal! guess i might be giving a clue away now. oops! take no notice of me! i go on and on and on on and on and on on and on and on on and on and on 3 YEARS LATER on and on and on on and on and on and on!**

THANKS EVERYBODY!


	5. Chapter 5

**Death Of One Already Lost**

I last spoke of childhood. The first seven years barely touched. Now I continue. I move forward a few years to their ninth birthday. The day their life changed forever, at least until the day they lost their life. This man had watched them but he was honest. He was a wonderful friend. Managed to get a new sleeping place, far friendlier than any other place. It was welcoming, warm, cosy, and not too big. Paradise for our fallen friend. Many a good story was told while they waited on this man. He was not extravagant in what he asked for. He would not have been served at all if it were not for his admiration of the young one serving. Mark me he was no pervert! He was one interested in the well-being.

I draw off topic. The twelfth birthday, for one whose birthday was never celebrated, came and this was the day the man made an offer too good to resist. A chance to travel! It is understood that he was a simple ill man recovering from a serious ailment, now he had recovered he was willing to get back on his horse and finish seeing the world. The master and mistress were saddened to see him go but were shocked once they heard his request. It took some persuasion but they eventually allowed my friend to leave the confinements of the home he had been forced to serve.

Packed and ready to leave they prepared for treacherous nights and days. They travelled for weeks learning from old cultures and ruins. He taught them how to find water in plants, which berries were edible. Many things were learnt that had never even been thought of. Bliss. That was the only word for this time. He rode for the first time and was free! Nothing could have been greater. Until…

Three weeks after their departure the man fell ill once more. This time there was no recovery. After the funeral my friend fell into denial. The only one who ever gave them the chance to be who they were…was gone. Unfortunately mourning time was short. With their guardian dead they were sent to an orphanage. It would have been fine if it were not for the fact that this orphanage…let me just say…it wasn't the best place in the world. And with all due respect it was not the worst. But it wasn't pleasant. Whips. Canes. Shoes. Blocks of wood. All were used when punishing the children.

A year they were at this place. One full year. That is in fact where we met. I have an understanding of how this place felt. There was a room. If you have ever seen Roald Dahl's Matilda you will know about the Chokey. The small damp dark room with nails driven into every corner. The children forced to spend certain periods of time in there. Well that is nothing…fictional or not. A cupboard. That's where we stayed. Sure. What's in a cupboard? Harry Potter lived in a cupboard under the stairs after all.

Try imagining a hot, tiny, damp cupboard. Little air getting in. You feel as if you're suffocating. The walls closing in. Nowhere to sit that wouldn't cut you. Everything would give pain. Just being in that room would drive you mad. We were lucky. Though it was small and there was even less room, we were both put in this room. To start with we hated each other's guts. Wanted to…kill…each other…near succeeded on the occasional attempts.

Eventually we learnt to get along. We had to. We were the strongest. Our differences had to be put aside in order to help the smaller children. We had to teach them the ways to survive. We were close to escaping once. It was perfect. We were all so close we could taste it. The sweetness of the outside air. The victorious vision of freedom. Then. You had to play hero! You realise one was in that room. You had to go back…I told you to leave the kid!

Enough! I wish not to remember this. Come back to me another day and I will tell you more. For now…leave me in peace. I must think about how I helped the pain!

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**Thanks again to the lovely people who reviewed. It's great when people do! Christmas is coming people! I will put up a new chapter for every story I'm writing so far up this week (for more details click my user name) but after that I'm not going to update until Christmas day. There's going to be a special for them all! I will put up another chapter for this story of course but then that's it.**

**SOOOOOO:**

**To baby sweet:**

**I wrote that chapter to shock. I'm glad it did the trick! And it is not him. Or is it? I promise the Christmas chapter will explain most! And who cares if it's what we've been talking about for every chapter? It gives us something to talk about! No problem about the capitals. I do that too! Most people think I'm yelling at them lol! Thanks again for your review!**

**To amy**

**I didn't say it was boy or girl. I said…and I quote…"I love it how people have always said it's a male and not a female. It's almost like everyone believes girls aren't suicidal!" I know I also said it was a clue but it depends on how you see it. Like I say. All will be revealed around Christmas! Glad you were surprised about the car too. It proves I can write something right! Thanks for your review!**

**To FoxWolfDemon**

**Thanks for your support! Sorry it took ages but…first I'll tell you…I work in a charity shop and the problem is we're being moved so most of my time is spent trying to get the place up and running for Christmas. WE OPEN ON SATURDAY THE 24th! Of course you don't care about that lol. Thanks for your review. (and also for putting me on your favourites list!)**

**KEEP REVIEWING PEOPLE!**


	6. Chapter 6

Death Of One Already Lost

You come back to me. Thank you. I know many have listened to my tale with great care. I will try not to delay much longer. Many have asked me…how is it my fault? It is! I was supposed to check we were all there. I was supposed to check that everyone had been in our room. I…I… No. I will stop here…I will continue my tale.

That night was the worst. I made sure the kids had gone to a safe house and then returned back to the home. Stood. In the centre with the workers, circling like vultures, eyeing their prey. I was a coward. I didn't go in…I didn't do anything I just…I just watched. I watched them jeering. Mocking. Beating. Every sound one after another AND STILL HE DID NOT CRY OUT!

When I think about what I could have done. It was terrible. No flinching. No tears. No screams. No mere human could take that. They couldn't. It was torture being forced to watch. I was forced. I couldn't look away. I tried to…my eyes wouldn't. I was forced by my own sense to bear the unbearable.

Hours seemed to go by. Bruises became cuts. Cuts became gashes. Gashes became broken bones. He was finally down. On the floor. Unconscious. Blood pouring everywhere. From his head. His stomach. His arms. His legs. He bled everywhere. In the home there was a hospital ward so he was taken there. Thrown about a bit on the way but he was taken there. His wounds…not even cleaned…were stitched up.

If I go on too much forgive me. Sometimes it's better to remember in order to take the sting out of the wound. You get bored of it. I see it. I'm not a fool. I _was _a fool. But no longer.

He wouldn't let me stay in the room when they came. Shoved me out the window if I refused to go. Told me…never watch…look the other way. He didn't scream…it was for me…he didn't want me to be sad…so he took the beatings without a sound. I hear you ask why didn't he go with me when he pushed me out the window. Because he believed that when they came for him, if he wasn't there they would search for the others. Would find me in the outside and I would suffer what he had. I told him many a time I didn't care. If we were together it wouldn't hurt as much as it did when I could hear him.

I will go forward again. I will move to the day he got out. We move forward three months. Came back. Tired…exhausted…red…bloody… Enough was enough. I grabbed his shoulders not caring if it hurt. I had to get some sense through to him. Before I admit…I didn't pay much attention to him. I saw he was getting tired. Thinner. Sicker. But what I saw then destroyed me. Nothing. His eyes had nothing. No emotion. There was no life damn it! I had spent three months with him. I could have kicked myself for not realising sooner. Empty orbs. Barely recognising me!

I said. ENOUGH WAS ENOUGH! I HAD TO GET HIM OUT! I DIDN'T CARE WHAT HAPPENED TO ME! He had curled up on the bed. I wouldn't have it. He tried to get me to leave him alone. NO I WOULD NOT! I picked him up. What choked me after was remembering he had no fight. No spirit. I made sure no one was about. It was a while. Eventually shifts changed meaning I had ten minutes to get him out. I managed it. I won't go into detail but I will say…there's a reason I look like a pirate with my peg leg.

We were out. I got him away. We were safe. For that moment. Such a small moment. I was happy. He appeared happy. Then after a while…he…he took ill. Had to go to the hospital…there…he…he…

NO! LEAVE ME ALONE! DO NOT MAKE ME CARRY ON! PLEASE I BEG OF YOU!

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**Like what you read? I'm crying! R&R. As my profile says…my best stories are done when I'm depressed. Looks like I'll be writing a lot tonight.**

**To: baby sweet**

**There are many. You just have to choose wisely. There's hundreds of characters don't forget! Thanks for saying that. My friends say I'm a good writer but like I say…I'm only good when I'm depressed. Thanks for the review again!**

**To: FoxWolfDemon**

**I guess it's true. I mean you want to read my stories? Yay! I can't believe my Numb/Encore fic was deleted! It said it wasn't my own creation but I thought that if you rewrote the lyrics it immediately made it your own. I'M SO CONFUSED! And now I have a confusion lol!**


	7. NAMED AT LAST

Death Of One Already Lost

I have to come back. Though it breaks my heart…I must continue…otherwise you will never understand. He was lost. His soul was dead before his body died. That is what I cannot get over. I could have saved him. Spared him. Done something to prevent the loss of his spirit. I ask the question…not to justify what I have done but to understand… if his spirit had remained in his body…would he have jumped? Plummeted? Down?

It still torments me…it gives me hell. I could be a murderer. I could be responsible. I couldn't bear it. I know you have not been given a name for the dearly departed. You should know by now. Someone you would never expect. One who risks their lives for others? One who is resourceful? One who can never leave the other behind? Think who you know it is not. It is not Kai. It is not Tyson…Max…Ray…could be female…and yet is not…I understand I have used male inclinations through previous back tracks but genderless often is the better.

Anyone once called upon will risk his or her life for another. Anyone can come up with ideas. I speak of course…not of the Bladebreakers. Not of the Demolition Boys. Neither the White Tigers nor the Allstarz. I speak of Mystel. Such a free spirit, carefree. How could he be led so far astray? He wore that masque for a reason.

Such a brilliant child…how could he follow the wrong path without motivation? He was easily driven wrong. His family torn from him. No one to turn to, to find long awaited comfort. He was all alone. Once Boris found him…well…that part will come later when justice can be done.

Let me continue my tale:

Taken into hospital after escaping from torture at an early age. I had no choice. He refused to go as only the stubborn fool would but he was too weak! I couldn't allow him to continue! He went in and was kept several days. To start we thought it was simply the flu. It developed.

I waited day after day after day. He got worse. Eventually it was declared he had little chance of survival unless they could perform an immediate operation. His illness had developed fatally…we were runaways! Where could I get the money? So I started stealing. I went…sometimes to five houses a night. Always on the rich estates. They had more chance of having valuable things lying about.

The Black Market wasn't the nicest place on Earth but it worked. I made profit from what I had stolen. I made over fifty thousand dollars…until the police were tipped off. I don't know who told…but I was in trouble. Took the money I had made. They would have thrown me in prison had I not been pardoned by the posh party. It still meant I had no money. I had nothing.

I visited the hospital with a sorry heart. I sat in his room and cried. A brain tumour I had found out…only an immediate operation could fix him…I had the money…and now I had nothing. I had disappointed my only friend once again.

It hurt me I could do nothing. Tears fell down my face. My head found its way onto the bed as I sat thinking hard of my options.

A rustle of bedclothes and a warm hand on my head shook me out of my stupor. Mystel…he had woken up. He smiled as if he knew I had let him down. He told me it was going to be ok. His empty orbs had filled with life for a brief moment as if his soul was trying to return to his body.

The next moment his eyes were cold and he seemed to fade. His reassurance was replaced with hard cold hatred. I could only listen as he told me he was alone. His family had disappeared…killed…he was alone. His adoptive father dead…everyone he cared for was dead. I was heartbroken he felt he couldn't accept me.

Once he had fallen to sleep I took to wandering the corridors. I passed the nursery and paused. Looking back I traced the cradles in the glass. Innocent. I understood why he didn't want me too close. From his earlier life he had people taken from him. Though there was nothing in his body except an empty shell…I knew…he was afraid…

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YOU HAVE THE IDENTITY…TELL ME IN YOUR REVIEWS IF YOU EXPECTED THAT!

Aaaaaanyway. Depression of the century!

**TO:**

**Sn0zb0z**

Glad you LOVE the story. How many times have you read it then? Thanks for being such a good reader.


	8. Chapter 8

Death Of One Already Lost

Afraid…that was what he was…afraid of losing someone else…fearing that should he bring back the care for another…it would be torn…his soul ripped apart. What was left of it. Continue I must…his tale done justice. He was hospitalised. He wouldn't accept anyone else. He was lifeless. He grew thinner and sicker. I didn't know what to do…the money for his operation gone…it killed me…though it did worse for him. All I could do was watch him fall…deeper and deeper.

Then a miracle appeared in the form of BEGA. It happened…I was outside blading. I needed some air…let off steam…I needed a break simply. I couldn't concentrate. Every time I started it went wrong…nothing went right…neither drill nor strategy. My mind wasn't on the game. I snapped to my senses when I heard a voice.

My blade returned to my hand and I stared into the purple haired face. We spoke quick words. His name was Balkov…Boris Balkov…he was setting up a new Beyblading Organisation and wanted new recruitments. I told him about how Mystel had taught me and he became interested. He wanted to meet my friend…he was sorry when he found out…they all were…none of them cared enough to do anything though…usually…this one was different.

He came with me and sat by. Mystel was conscious but didn't care. His eyes were blank and unfocused. Mr Balkov spoke with the doctors while I helped feed my dearest friend. He called me out and told me he would pay for the operation as long as we were recruited to his organisations team. Of course I accepted. I had to accept for Mystel as well. He was too far-gone to give a reasonable answer.

It seemed to go on for hours. It did. One day went by. Two days went by. Soon it had been three weeks. Not straight surgery though. No. It was one or two hours at a time. It was amazing that this guy would spend so much on a guy he didn't even know. Mystel eventually finished his surgery. He went straight into recovery and was quarantined. He was on his own for so long.

I remember…when we were younger together…he would say that no matter what we would always be friends. His mind…it was so fragile…frail…distraught…he saw everyone as his enemy. Before he went in he was screaming. I was no friend…how could I let them take him away? Had I no heart? Yes Damnit! He came out of the theatre and the first words he murmured upon passing me was 'traitor.'

Mystel forgive me. You think I betrayed you. Gave you away to those who would hurt you. Why could you not see I was trying to help? I know you lived a cruel and harsh life. I knew your parents had been ripped from you. Your siblings believed to have been destroyed. You adoptive father taken by He who is powerful over us. God was not on your side. But he sent you a saviour. He sent Boris who was willing to use millions to help you.

You came out a few weeks later. I had been visiting but Boris willed me to live in a nearby apartment. You were asleep most of the times I passed by. You were woken once. For about an hour. You had no recollection of it. Your memories broken while your body recovered. I suppose its true. The body is stronger than the mind. You came out with a mask. A gold mask with red quartz. It was to help you focus yourself. When I remember the arguments you had…with all of us…then you started on…you yelled…I still have the emotional mark where you beat me…

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OK not perfect. It's late when I'm writing this. 22:36 pm my time in the UK!

No one reviewed…though I know you read!


	9. Chapter 9

Death Of One Already Lost

…You beat me…you deemed me a traitorous being with a black hole as a heart. Tell me…friend…yes I call you friend…I allowed you to beat me yet I still saw you as my friend. After all you were confused. Frightened. You feared many things. The world. Boris Balkov. Me. It doesn't matter now. What little comfort I have comes with knowing you are free. But. The mask you wore. It aided your sight. You were partially blind after your operation. It served you right after fighting the surgeons. They were saving you…not murdering you. You came out and were so quiet. You became withdrawn.

Forgive me. I speak now in second person. I am not relating the tale. I am saying things that are of no concern to this. My personal feelings have nothing to do with anything. He came out and was virtually destroyed. He was distraught. His once handsome fine features were mauled. He was barely recognisable. He still believed in doing the right thing but he had followed a new path. He took beatings from other kids to make sure smaller bladers were ok. He preferred not to stay in one place, travelling to a new place nearly every day.

He trained relentlessly. He never ceased. Trying to better himself. Watching him exhausted me. I already had my own training to do. Boris believed I had the potential but I wasn't as confident as you. I found out he only wanted you. He didn't give two hoots about me. I was there to motivate you. Although you were not thrilled with me you still used me as a support.

Boris worked us hard. Day after day after day. Boris asked Mystel to find Rei Kon. I don't know why. True he was one of the world's best bladers but it meant nothing. We could easily beat him. I eventually found out. Boris was using us to take over our sport. I would have told you but you'd gone. I should have told the others but I didn't want to. I only trusted you as you only trusted me.

Irrelevant! Forgive me…I go off on odd tangents. I will fast forward again. It still hurts. Maybe I will tell you at a later time.

The tournament organised by Boris to declare who would rule the sport. His BEGA or the Bladebreakers BBA. The BBA team won. That hurt him more. Not Boris…Mystel. He broke down. He shoved me away and threw a glass at my head. I can't take it anymore. I stood and let the glass hit me.

Blood mixed with shards. The cuts went deep…but not as deep as the emotional wounds you inflicted upon me run. I staggered. I felt my world growing dark. I heard running. You had run. I tried to follow you…but only succeeded in collapsing. When I came to…

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I have a sneaky idea…if you wanna know my idea that will make you kill me you must review. No more updates until this story reaches 25 reviews.

**acts innocent and girly with a cruel evil twist**

**To:**

**baby sweet**

**Thanks. Glad you liked it. Boris did help. My story is unusual and the next and final chapter has a deadly twist. Do you quote your fave line every time? It's really great. R&R for me **

**sn0zb0z**

**My lovely loyal reviewer…thanks you. You will enjoy the next chapter. It will undo your opinion of the story for good! Please…R&R**

Winter-Rae 

**Thank you for the long review. Thanks for thinking it's beautiful…it's actually supposed to be despairing but…to each their own…you make me blush! Am I really that good? And I made it clear in the first few chapters it wasn't Kai. I love Kai but I don't like him depressing…if you like Kai I'm actually going to do a gender swap story at some point so…**

**You will find out who is telling the story in the next chapter…and for that you will murder me…thanks and please R&R**


	10. The End

Death Of One Already Lost

…You had gone…

After that I gave up. I was your best friend. No one understood you like I did. We had a mutual bond. Why did you have to drift so far away? You fool!

That was when it hit me. You had gone…left me alone. Guess what…it wasn't just about you…I was also a part of this! You and I only had each other. Well I give up. I stayed and supported you through everything. Helped you strive to succeed the numerous things you saw to achieve.

Remember…you were my best friend…I would have stayed by your side forever. I'm sorry…that was the last time. From when you were little…you had to cope with strangers…torn from a loving home…dragged down into the depths of hell…strain…pressure…pain…

I'm sorry…you have been lost…I am no longer registered as 'Friend' in your mind. I have nothing to live for. Nothing to help you. My entire life has been about helping you…but you cannot be helped…and though…

And though you will never read this…remember…I love you….

Garland.

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"You fool. You didn't have to take your own life…not to save me…" Mystel stood up and took a deep breath. "Garland…I can't believe you…forgive me." He stood back and looked outside his window where his family were sitting around a picnic table. "Reunited at last…and it's all down to you…" Mystel let a stray tear fall from his eye. "Thank you…………………………………………"

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**And so…this come to the conclusion…now all I have to ask you…is…were you expecting this? You read the front believing it to be Mystel dying…now you learn it was Garland dying…the love they shared was nothing more than friendship…but it helped them live…tell me…Should I do a sequel? Do you love these two strange characters enough for them to be reunited?**

**TO:**

**sn0zb0z**

**thanks for the review **

**Winter-Rae**

**I AM NOT A GREAT TALENTED WRITER! crosses fingers behind her back as she lies Thanks for the review . Tell me if you wanna kill me…go on…I dares ya! Thanks for the compliment…but as this chapter proves…not such a great writer.**


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